Europeans, fuck yourselves, por Rui Daher

Da Rússia, na semana passada, Nestor & Pestana, avisam que Mark, seu patrão, pede um artigo analisando o fracasso de países não europeus na Copa, aduzindo que os EUA precisam tomar providências sobre isso. Mais: Trump detesta prepotência e prefere aqueles já dominados. Quanto à China deixará para a História.

Respondi que podiam escrever. Disseram estar ocupados reportando baixarias brasileiras com russinhas loiras e em restaurantes. Lembrei-me da seleção brasileira na Suécia, em 1958. Que eu escrevesse. Poderia ser em português, que o Mark mandaria traduzir para o inglês.

– Rola grana boa? Entregar até quando.

– Vinte mil verdes, serve? Entregar até nove de julho. Aproveita, você nunca tem porra nenhuma a fazer em feriados.

Foi quando se deu o desastre. Cismaram de trocar meus dois velhos notebooks amigos por um novo ainda não operacional. Pensei: não tem problema, uso meu iPad.

Approved to este feria do paulista de move de jojoba de 2018 para amenizar a for que sofreremos depois que Lula recebeu have as corpus de soltura que nao sera liberator”.

Sustei. Uai, que língua é essa? Tentei mais uma vez:

Estes texting vai para todos que acre disarm que Lula seria soltom be disputation as eleições de out unbroken Desfiliado dec meus velhos computadores, em transitory para no as technologies, onque muito me irrita, tented escrever no meu iPad que fala umma lingual estranged. Nãom chevon a um Mino Cartagena com Suárez Olivetti, maps 7.3 em ago stop não me adapts nem precision aggionamentos”.

Fodeu! Não sei adequar o iPad a uma linguagem de gente, mas vinte mil doletas … vou tentar em inglês, direto, sem tradutor ou corretor. Se sair tudo errado, eu for corrigido ou criticado, não será diferente de quando aqui publico no BRD. E assim fui, com todo o respeito. O texto enviado a Mr. Mark:

“Well, well, Africans and people of Central and South America, also Mexico, Asia went back home. The good and old European colonialism are back to the top. Belgians, Frenches, Croatian and England will go on.

OK, how many players of these teams are refugees from our non-developed countries, do not matter if for political, economic, poverty or just for they make money and leave their miserable lives, like Maradona, Pelé, Garrincha, Ronaldo and Neymar did, and bought Ferraris that they would never had if living in their neighborhood and not sold as football slaves to their vanity dreams?

That’s capitalism, OK?

After seeing Brazil eliminated by a country, the last interesting of the planet – beers and chocolates, fuck them! – I have a suggestion that will be hated by leftists: FROM NOW ON ALL OF OUR EXCELENT PLAYERS ONLY WILL BE SOLD TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Mr. Mark Zuckerberg, we have a suggestion that you could submit and accomplish with the orange-skin President Donald Trump: From now on USA would be responsible for the financing transactions and security of players like Messi, Suárez, James Rodriguez, Di Maria, and every African and Asian football star. Obviously, also Neymar and all the Brazilian Team.

Mr. Trump must give them American Citizen qualification and forget this shit to call football as soccer. And … In four years, at Qatar, USA will be the Champion of the World and will adopt football as the worldwide expression of their poor soccer. God save America!

What you think about it?

We are new countries and civilizations which taught Europeans and help them in football to use the same slaves that helped them to conquer many of their richness dominating our territories. That’s enough! They are not owner of our football skills. Try someone in Siberia, Alsace, or even Albania and fucking Germany.

For ours “Joy and Proud” (Bonnie Raitt and SRV), please, Old World, forget us. Champions League? Right on your asses. Wines? We prefer Chileans. Museums? Count with Chinese tourists. Movies? You’re dead for 50 years.I love Monicelli.

We, Brazilian journalists from BRD and N&P, sponsored by Dr. Mark and President Donald Trump will not forgive you from the fucking Europe. To finish, that’s what we deserve to you:

1. Millions of refugees invading the streets of your capitals; 2. Shit perfumes at Grasse, France; 3. Millions of Japanese fading out the picture of Mona Lisa; 4. Thousand of African negroes integrating with the Sweden blonde hair; 5. Charlotte of Cambridge inviting Brazilian singer “Tati Quebra Barraco” for its parties; 6. Anymore information, please consult Brazilian Decolar Tourism Company. If guaranteed ticket and Queen’s presence, we can offer a show with Roberto Carlos.

If not enough, Europeans go fuck yourselves. Do not ever do what you did with ours football teams!

Enviado do meu iPad

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=tati+quebra+barraco&qs=AS&pq=tati+quebra&sc=8-11&cvid=C14A353AC5074023AD05C383AB08CAF1&sp=1&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dtati%2bquebra%2bbarraco%26qs%3dAS%26pq%3dtati%2bquebra%26sc%3d8-11%26cvid%3dC14A353AC5074023AD05C383AB08CAF

 

 

 

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